All of These Bright Lights
by HotchnerJareau
Summary: JJ's heart was thumping. She was so fucking scared. Her life would end soon. The chances of her living past 5 years were next to none. As the days progressed, it got worse. / JJ is diagnosed with ALS. Written for awareness.


**Author's Note: This is for the ALS awareness challenge. Since I'm not doing the ice bucket challenge and can't donate, I've decided to do this instead. Please review.**

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September 18, 2014

The sun was just beginning to rise from behind the tall buildings that outlined the bureau building in Quantico, Virginia. The tall grey elevator doors dinged open and out stepped Jennifer Jareau. Her hair had been curled to an extent that she could still come to work with and not look like she hadn't put any work into her appearance. It was just– different.

She walked into the bullpen and set her briefcase on her desk. She opened it, revealing a file she'd finished up at home two weeks before. That's right. Two weeks. She had two weeks off of work– but it had nothing to do with holidays, or a cold, nothing like that. She'd spent those two weeks in and out of doctors offices. It had been done quite easily, as well. She'd simply told Hotch that she needed one week of personal time off. When that week went by and she was still awaiting a certain something back from the doctors, she requested another week off to confirm it.

"JJ!" Rossi greeted, his voice making the few people in front of him turn around. The blonde gave a small smile and hugged the ones who held their arms out.

"Any broken bones? Babies?! I've been calling you for 2 weeks!" Penelope half shouted, wrapping her arms around the younger agent for a moment. JJ smiled quickly and looked down. "No, wait, is something wrong?" She asked.

"What.. What makes you think that?" JJ shifted her position and made sure she was sitting on her desk. That feeling in her legs had come back. "I just took a personal leave. It's okay, Pen, I'm fine now."

Garcia sighed as her hand left JJ's forearm. "If there's anything, Jayje, you come to me. I'm right here." JJ gave a quick nod and a short fake smile. She was used to giving those. It hurt to lie, but she was saving them from getting hurt, themselves. It had to be done.

Turning around, JJ felt that sensation in her right leg. She tripped slightly and fell back into Penelope's hold. Her legs were starting the process of deteriorating. Reality was kicking in.

"...JJ? You okay?" Morgan asked, grabbing the woman's forearm gently. She gave a quick nod and gulped. This was scary.

"Yeah, new heels." She passed it off as, giving her usual fake laugh. In reality, she was nervous as fuck. How often would this happen before she would be forced to tell everyone?

"Well if that's what it is..." Rossi raised his eyebrows. JJ gave him a glare as she reached into her briefcase and picked out a brown envelope. Before anybody could sneak a peek at the writing on top, the blonde had rushed upstairs to Hotch's office.

"You see that?" Morgan pointed out. He noticed the way JJ's leg would give out every 10 or so steps.

"She's probably just hurt her leg and doesn't want Hotch to take her out of the field." Rossi said, checking his watch. "Oh, and look, it's briefing time in 5 minutes. They shouldn't be long."

Morgan shook his head slightly and smirked. "Yeah, if what she's about to say in there will take 5 minutes."

Meanwhile, in Hotch's office, JJ could barely stand without feeling like her legs would just give out. She held the small envelope as best as she could. It was already beginning to happen in her hands too. She knew what this was, and she was about to tell the man who would leap tall buildings in a single bound for her. He would be crushed, destroyed, torn apart.

"JJ." He smiled, standing up. He reached out his hand to take the envelope from her, a puzzled look drawn on his face. "Is everything alright?" He knew JJ never requested time off, so when she did, it had to be serious. But, knowing JJ, Hotch would never get this news out of her easily. It would take a while.

"Um, yeah, actually." She zipped the package away from Hotch and smiled nervously. "Wrong envelope! Sorry! I'll be back." With that, she took off out the door and down the hallway.

Hotch sat back down and sighed. Something was obviously wrong. Deep down, he knew that package was for him, but something was stopping her. Something he was determined to figure out.

JJ made her way down the stairs and to her briefcase. She wiped a tear from her eye quickly, something she was known to do. Nowadays, she would be emotional at anything– but the quick tear wipe was a sure fire sign something was wrong. She never told people when she was having an off-day. The tear wipe was the only way people could tell.

"JJ, if there's something you wanna tell us..." Garcia said, sadly. She watched as the blonde moved her fingers. She felt the stiffening of the muscle, how uncomfortable it was. She had dropped the envelope once already that morning, and more times the previous nights. Her hands were starting to give out, meaning– her body was starting to giving in.

"Look, would you all just leave me alone?" JJ said, calmly, using her best press conference face. She knew this face very well. She'd mastered it over the years she'd been the media liaison. "I took two weeks off. Is it that much of a big deal?"

Rossi sighed. "You're different. Something's changed. When you're ready to talk, we're all here." The words made JJ furious. She wanted to tell them but at the same time, she didn't. They'd find out sooner or later, whether she told them or not. They'd begin making guesses as to what she had, assumptions. Why she's clumsy all of a sudden? They'd say she's nervous, and Garcia would even go as far as guessing pregnancy. That would explain why her mood was jumpy, why she kept dropping things, stumbling on nothing.

"I know, you make it very clear." JJ answered. She picked up the file she'd worked on and went upstairs to hand it in. Hopefully nobody would begin making assumptions. Couldn't promise anything, though.

JJ's heart was thumping. She was so fucking scared. Her life would end soon. The chances of her living past 5 years were next to none. As the days progressed, it got worse. It wasn't like anything else, how you could take medicine and it would be gone within a week, or start a treatment plan that could last a lifetime, but hey– at least you'd grow old enough to see your child go into third grade. JJ wouldn't. They'd actually given her 5 years, not even the possibility of more. It was just 5 years. If she lived past 2 years, the doctors would be amazed. That's the sad part.

She would lay awake at night, crying at the thought of her being confined to that bed at some point. In less than 5 years, her life would be over. Henry would lose his mom at under 10 years old, Will would lose his wife before they were even married for 5 years. Everything would end.

Just. Like. That.

Jennifer looked down at the two envelopes in her hands. She was really going to do this. Hotchner deserved to know. If he didn't, the only way he'd find out is when Will calls to let them know JJ's gone. So, here she was, ready to give some of the worst news she's ever had to give. The first, being the time she had decided to tell Will about the miscarriage, and the second, being the time she had to lie to the team and tell them that Emily Prentiss died. It just wasn't right.

Before her delicate hand could clench a fist to knock on the door, Hotch called out, "it's open!" With that, JJ turned the handle and stepped inside, her eyes meeting her boss'.

"Here's my file." She said, making sure the medical envelope was slipped nicely under the one she'd been working on for weeks. She wouldn't have to tell him directly, this way. He would read over the documents, consider what's happening to his agent, then work on replacing her, even if he had up to 5 years. This horrible disease can take lives in months, and she was unfortunate enough to get the fast progression. With JJ's case, fast really meant fast.

"JJ, are you sure you're alright?" Hotch pressed, opening the file. JJ shook her head and said a quick "I'm fine." Before turning to leave.

"I'm sorry."

With that, she closed the door behind her, leaving Hotchner to the file she's given him. Pushing it away, he noticed the envelope under it. He dumped the contents out onto his desk and read the first few words of a letter.

By the time he'd finished reading, he was in tears. He was heartbroken. He decided to not let another second go by. He grabbed the envelope and wiped his tears. He slipped out of his office and down the stairs. Walking into the bullpen, he approached the team.

"Anyone seen JJ?" He asked.

"She went in there." Garcia worriedly said, pointing to the storage room, also JJ's old office. Everyone knew that room wasn't used as much as people thought, so JJ liked to go in there and recollect her thoughts.

Hotchner made his way down the hall and knocked quietly on the door. JJ looked up and Hotch automatically saw the pain and hurt in her eyes. She looked back down and continued to play with her fingers in nervousness.

"JJ?" He asked, a tear now halfway down his cheek, "you have ALS?"

"Yes." She said, feeling her hand getting weaker and weaker.

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**Author's Note: I hope this draws readers. Please tell your friends. Spread the word. Please review.**


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